I’m having a big attack of imposter sYndrome
“I’ve just been offered what is in many ways my dream job. I’ve been longing to earn more and have more impact in the industry - but now I’m feeling overwhelmed and like I’m not ready or maybe not cut out for the role. Like I’ve only been offered the role as a bit of a fluke. I guess I’m having some serious imposter syndrome. I’m struggling to see myself in this role, which will involve more management and even leadership elements than I’ve had before and handling the increased demands - and imagining what my peers will say about me (in my head, I can imagine people saying I have less experience that several other people who do what I do and who are probably better qualified). It is making me have real doubts. I’m questioning now whether to take the role. Help?! “
Anonymous NOWIE member
Firstly, congratulations on being offered your dream position. Take a moment and feel a little pride in your work and your talents that you got to this point. And then take another moment to feel grateful that you got here. You asked for this and the universe has responded with a resounding “Yes!”
Now. About that imposter phenomenon. A very short bit of history. While it’s true that both men and women experience this, the historical context of the discovery of Imposter Phenomenon as it was originally named by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, two researchers in academia in the 1970s who noticed that a lot of successful women in their sector were having a sense that they did not belong, or were not really competent to do their jobs or had only got to the elevated positions they had through chance. And these internal feelings were caused and/or exacerbated by external phenomena. Primarily, they did not see themselves (other women) in the positions of success and power in their professional world and therefore had doubts about whether they should actually be there.
So back to your situation. Imposter phenomenon is incredibly common when we get promoted to a level where we no longer see ourselves easily as a fit. This can be because we think we lack experience or tools to do the new job before us or because we are already in a place of believing we lucked out in getting to where we have in our career. Or because we see nobody like us in (other) senior roles.
The trick, if I can use that word, is not to ruminate upon all the ways you got to where you are by chance or all the skills you don’t have or all the what if questions you can catastrophise with and instead ask yourself some better questions. Do you WANT this job? If it was always your dream position, has that stopped being true for some reason? Or is it simply that you are in the grip of self doubt or anxiety. If it’s the latter, (fact: Anxiety is a liar) and it’s time to make a decision. Are you going to claim this job and make it yours? Are you willing to act in spite of the inner voices? Are you ready to claim what you have been judged as deserving by others?
And will you? Claim it?
Because once you claim it you can ask more good questions. What do I need to make the very best start in this role? Importantly - what support do I need? Do you need to make an official Inner Circle of friends who will keep you going when you’re beset with these doubts? I’ve done this when stretching outside a comfort zone and 6 years in, our monthly meetings are still balm to my spirit. Do you need a mentor? Do you need a coach? Do you need to go out and find your people in the first place, ones who do what you do or who are in your industry and can provide moral support? We need voices that are louder than the one peddling its nonsense in our head.
Imposter phenomenon is a real issue for many many women in male dominated industries. There are numerous things you can do about it, which Remi is doing a great job of outlining, but the very first thing you have to do is to decide if you’re going to let it stop you or not. If your decision is that you are not going to be stopped - you can figure everything out from there. But first you must decide.
Tamara Gal-On, Creative Industries and Intuition Coach
Tamara’s right to say that these feelings are super-common. If impostor feelings are strong, it can lead to people turning down opportunities they are actually competent to take. Impostor feelings are things like a real dread of being evaluated and judged, underestimating yourself, struggling to take on board positive feedback and feeling guilt about your success.
Having a wobble is completely normal, it’s an exciting opportunity but one you might have to step into while not feeling ready on the inside.
I want to suggest some really practical activities: things you can do, which will actually prepare you and help you.
Impostor phenomenon comes with an underestimation of our own competence (an an overestimation of how competent others are). A great exercise to do is make a list of evidence of everything you have done and achieved over the years, from school days to your career. Write out a list of years, and achievements in each year. Did you overcome your fear of water in 1998 to get your swimming badge at school? Were you the only woman in the crew and won the respect of your team in a crisis-hit tour in 2015? This exercise helps you see the big picture: that you can achieve and have achieved and to accept that you are ready.
Impostor phenomenon can lead us to worry about EVERYTHING (generalised anxiety), so can you get more specific about what you actually want to do in the job? If the role was to be a success for you, what would you achieve in 1, 3 or 5 years? Having a purpose and a plan helps you root yourself in what you are there to do rather than worrying about looking the part or what other people think. Visualise yourself achieving these objectives, and dream about all the things you could do to get there.
Impostor feelings also go alongside perfectionism, and feeling you need to over prepare and suffer to achieve. If you take the job, you are allowed an adjustment period and to take time to do some fact finding and learning. This could include: meeting your colleagues, clients and stakeholders; getting to know your peers in similar companies; re-connecting with your existing network; assessing the opportunities that others might have overlooked and bringing a fresh perspective to some pressing problems. If you’re an introvert (introversion is highly correlated with impostor feelings) this can be tiring, so pace yourself. Allow yourself to get excited about getting stuck in - and being imperfect - but getting some wins and building relationships and allies along the way.
You will bring your own perspective and approach to the role, so you don’t need to do this like anyone else. If you haven’t already, make an assessment of your values and your leadership style. If you’re someone that values transparency or really likes to have very direct communication - knowing that, and being able to communicate that to your new colleagues will help you work at your best.
You can lessen the impact of impostor phenomenon on your work and build up some thinking that counteracts the impostor thoughts so you can take this opportunity on.
Remi Harris MBE, Trainer, Business Advisor and Coach
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Music Leaders Network is the transformational leadership development programme for mid-career women in music. Co-founded by Remi Harris MBE and Tamara Gal-On, its powerful blend of executive coaching, training and a supportive network support 'life-changing' results for women ready for professional growth.
