After covid I'm scared to turn down work
“I’m working as a touring crew member, and after a tough 2 years during the pandemic my finances and confidence have taken a bit of a battering. I promised myself that I’d take care of myself once things opened up again, and not end up the burned-out shell I was before. However, there’s a shortage of people with my skills and I’m getting lots of offers of work - which is great - but my diary is packed with jobs and little time off. I know I’ve taken on too much, but I’m scared to turn down work in case it somehow disappears again. What should I do to manage my career sustainably in 2023? ”
Anonymous NOWIE member
Thanks for your question, it sounds as if work has become unbalanced and a source of fearful feelings. Could you put some parameters around what is ‘enough’ in this situation. What is enough work, enough money, and enough time for yourself. What is the sweet spot for you within those parameters? These are questions to ask your intuition. Not to try and figure out on paper or in your head. What feels like the right answers to those questions in your body?
Also, intuitively which one of money or wellbeing is your biggest stress factor right now? Start with taking action around that one.
Remi’s point (below) about processing any hangover from the pandemic so you can make decisions from a place of calm and expansion is an excellent one. If you still have unresolved fears around this, you might be stuck in a place of anxiety when it comes to decision making about work to turn down or say yes to.
A good way to uncover and process these fears might be:
Uncovering. Deliberately create a quiet time and space to do this reflecting. Then pose yourself some questions. I recommend journaling your answers because conjuring difficult thoughts in your mind without a way to release them (like by writing them down) might lead to you ruminating on them further rather than releasing them.
My greatest fears during the pandemic were………… which made me feel………..
My response to this at the time was to…….
Now I think I am holding on some of those fears and/or feelings by…..
I realise now I don’t need to hold on to those fears and feelings any more because…..
I am willing to let go of these fears and feelings because…
Releasing. A simple way to release fears or feelings is to write each individual fear out on slips of paper:
I am willing to release my fear of…
I am willing to release my feelings of…
And then when you have slip for each separate fear or feeling destroy them. Tearing them up and binning the bits, burning the slips (in a sink as they are very non flammable and have water on hand if things get a bit flamey) or flushing down the loo all work.
Remind yourself if fearful thoughts or feelings crop up again, that you are willing to release them. The writing and destroying process can be repeated. But often it isn't necessary.
Tamara Gal-On, Creative Industries and Intuition Coach
Like many folk in the events industry, it sounds as if you went through tough times in the pandemic. I’m wondering whether you have processed how you felt during that time, and put it into some kind of perspective to allow yourself to assess the risk to you in the future accurately. You could be feeling hyper-vigilant to what could go wrong in the future?
In terms of feeling ready to let some work go:
Do you need a specific amount of money in an emergency fund that, once reached, you will commit to turning down work and taking time off?
Do you need to make a savings schedule so you can be comforted that your savings are being replenished, even when you aren't saying yes to every piece of work you are being offered.
Could the answer be to take out some income protection insurance so if you couldn’t work, you’d have a couple of years breathing space.
Could you increase your rates - or at least turn down the bottom paying 10% of work so that you can sustain your career without taking on absolutely everything. I love how this also creates opportunities for new people entering the industry to grow their careers as well, so you could think of this as an added bonus of ‘releasing’ some work back into the jobs market.
Tamara is quite right that this problem is as much a question of personal limits to how much you can handle, and what ‘enough’ looks like. In order limit taking on more and more, you could decide what a healthy amount of work days per month or per year looks like, and block off days off and time out for the year in advance (taking account of your busy times). Knowing that the work days aren’t endless, forces you to make some difficult choices and if you decide to book a job at that time then as you do that you must book another day off into your calendar.
Well done for getting back into your career and I wish you a prosperous and healthy year.
Remi Harris MBE, Trainer, Business Advisor and Coach
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